I'm home!

As I've repeated over the past several months, I've been living with my grandmother, being her primary care provider. It's been a tough job, filled with moments of fear, frustration, agitation, and overwhelming sadness. The sadness is what has me right now. I made the arbitrary decision--with the support of my aunt--to allow my grandmother to return living on her own.

It was rather like leaving your first born at kindergarten--tears on both sides. But I know that right now my grandmother is capable of caring for herself. She can still cook, clean, bathe, brush her teeth, and do her own laundry. While she has her wits about her, I want her to enjoy that independence because I can also state with NO hesitation, she is slipping and one day in the not too distant future she won't be able to live alone any more.

While she can, I want her to. Forcing her onto her own feet will help her. I truly believe that. She is forced to get out of bed, she HAS to make her own meals (okay so I made up "TV" dinners--divided plates with single servings of things like baked chicken, with vegetables and gravy, spaghetti and meat sauce, etc.) I go over and take her to the senior center three times a week, to her doctor and dentist appointments, and call her a couple times through out the day just to check in on her.

Now I sit here at home struggling to get caught up with business that has suffered from inattention over the past several months.

I shouted cheers of joy as I FINALLY finished the first round of edits on my October release, Hunting Mickey. I'm an anal author who usually receives her edits and has them done and returned in a 24 hour time period. It was driving me ape crackers that I was unable to focus and get the work done. When I wasn't over at Nanny's, I was home desperately trying to catch up on the sleep I'd been deprived of the previous week.

Today I spent a full hour in my favorite summer hobby: sun bathing. It was the first time all season I'd seen the sun for more than the time to took to drive from point A to point B. Knowing that beginning July 24 until July 29 I'll be spending 8 or more hours out in the sun, fishing, boating, ATVing, horse back riding, etc, I need to get my skin ready for all that massive exposure so I don't end up lobster maroon by the end of the first day.

I'm selfishly excited how wonderful it was to sit out on the deck today. The sun above, a good book in my hands (Rereading Erma Bombeck's Family-The Ties that Bind--and Gag)Tomorrow I'm hoping to spend another hour before I have take Nan to the dentist.

While I was away from home, I received a rejection notice. It was hard for me to read those lines telling me thanks but no thanks. Harder than past rejections. In large part owing to the decided lack of sleep and emotional rawness and in small part owing to the fact that the book rejected was Death Rides a Pale Harley. I was STUNNED that the book received an R. It's a strong, wonderful story with fabulous characters and an intensely intriguing plot. I ended up crying into a big bowl of Moose Trax ice cream and burying my pain in a HUGE Dove Milk Chocolate Bar.

I intend to read it over and then send it out again.

I've also been inspired to try my hand at something new. It's a project I am doing mainly for my own enjoyment but if it works...I've decided to write a musical. Yes, I sing--quite well. I've won awards for my voice talents over the years as well as had my share of jobs requiring my voice. In recent years I sing for myself and my babies--but I digress. It's not just any musical. It's one that I've messed with during the worst times of the past months. A Musical that Weird Al himself would be proud of! It's called COWS: The MOOSICAL.

Yep, it's just as nonsensical and silly as it sounds. The plot is off beat and goofy, the songs are parodies of some oldies but goodies...I know, there's red tape to wade through and hoops to jump to use some of the musical scores I've envisioned but that's all right. If it never see's the lights of OFF OFF Broadway, that's just fine with me. As long as I release the building pressure with some udder nonsense, that's what its for!

I would like to take a minute to THANK everyone! Over the past few months, your emails, cards of encouragement, keeping the family in your prayers, it has been a wonderful blessing and I'm grateful to each one of you who have made sure to let me know you were thinking of us and sending support in our direction.

Since I'm just recently home, I've got a ton of work still ahead of me. The vacation I've lived for is coming in 9 DAYS and I'm behind on preparations. Plus even though DH is supportive of my "selfish" vacation, I am trying to help him get our home packed, one room at a time, so it can go up on the market. He's still not found a job and we're not sure how much longer we can hold on. We've come to terms with the fact that it's inevitable. Maybe a miracle will present itself and he'll get a job in the next week or so--but I've learned recently that miracles only happen once in a great while. It will be sad to say goodbye to the place that's been our home for the last few years, but there's obviously something better in store for us. I'm almost excited to see what is in store for us next!

Well, I guess I better take off. It's GREAT being back--and I hope I can hang around for a while longer!

Have a fantastic rest of the week and I'll see y'all in August!

Hugs
Donica